The balancing act

Mariselle Stofberg



The word coronavirus has become so embedded in everyday conversations that it is nearly impossible to have one without focusing on it.

Parents have felt this impact more than anyone else. That schedule and routine you invested time and money into has suddenly been completely disrupted and trying to find a routine amidst the chaos has been exceptionally difficult.

Parents have become teachers, friends, doctors and entertainers, and the reality is that there is no way of knowing when things will go back to normal.

Natasja Beyleveld, mother of two children aged seven and 10 and the managing director of NaMedia, said through the pandemic, she has learnt more about herself and her children.

“This pandemic has shown everyone’s true colours. It tested our discipline, patience, integrity and true interest in our children. My children where forced to stop with some of their sports, and online classes proved to be a disaster. But we also discovered new passions such as rock climbing, arts and crafts, cycling and so much more,” she said.

Think outside the box

Mother of two Jessica Grimbeeck said though this has proven to be an extremely difficult time, she has grown as a person and a parent.

“We were forced to adapt on a daily basis, but this also forced us to become creative and think outside the box,” Grimbeeck added.

During lockdown, the Grimbeeck family enjoyed things like BMX riding, movie nights, building tree houses and ninja obstacle courses and tried to find constructive ways for the children to play, have fun and remain safe.

Homeschooling’s no joke

Beyleveld added that as a family, they started to spend more quality time together and even started to exercise and cook together. The reality of this pandemic is that it tested parents and forced them to move beyond their comfort zones.

“I had to ask a friend of mine to help with homeschooling, because I was definitely not the head girl when it came to giving classes. I started speaking too much Greek, French and Xhosa for my daughter’s liking, and it makes me sad to think this would be my daughter’s first year of school,” she said.

Beyleveld said homeschooling is not a joke and after running around, especially during the first two weeks, she had to drastically change her mindset.

“I believe that as parents and teachers, we are facilitators to help our children to reach their full potential. We need to become more patient than we’ve ever been and help them when they feel lost or confused or have trouble understanding certain things,” Grimbeeck added.

Explaining the unexplainable

As a parent, it becomes a challenge to not allow your own stress and uncertainty to become your child’s reality, but this also comes with a whole new set of challenges. The world as we knew it changed, and this change also impacted children who struggle to understand why they must wear masks, are not allowed to hug each other and must try and maintain social distancing.

“Throughout this whole journey, I prayed and I tried to explain these changes to my children as best as possible. I tried to help them discover, identify and understand these new emotions, but this was not a walk in the park. As a parent, you get tired and emotional and all you want to do is scream, but you try your best, and that is all you can do,” Beyleveld said.

She added that even though she loves spontaneity, she tried to find some ways in which a routine can be established.

A new routine

“I wasn’t too strict on times that my children had to wake up in the morning, but they always had strict times they needed to go to bed. Kids who are tired are kids who get irritated and that results in a very impatient mother.”

Part of her new routine was to emphasise what day it was, and plan something special for the day which her children could look forward to.

“I also had a reward system for chores around the house. One point equalled one dollar and then we would go to the shops to buy their reward with the money they earned. This can be washing the dishes, picking up dog poop, making coffee and opting for reading and educational channels instead of Netflix,” Beyleveld said.

Bansemer tried to find a balance between learning, cleaning, playing and being a family. She also tried to dedicate a certain amount of time every day where she is completely devoted to her children.

Understanding differences

It is important to remember that children are different, and they react differently to certain things and situations.

“My daughter flourished on the reward system, but my son got irritated after the fourth time he had to pick up dog poop. My son started watching more history channels and started to play with his old aeroplanes and toy cars. My daughter and I started watching DIY shows and then she would create her own Barbie clothes with balloons or socks or create her own art pieces,” Beyleveld said.

Explaining the new rules and regulations is another challenge parents face.

“As parents, we tried to explain that wearing masks is a part of the president’s new rules to keep us safe. We didn’t tell them scary stories but tried to remain honest and explain the new regulations in a way that they can understand,” Grimbeeck said.

Masks is a challenge the Beyleveld family faces every day.

“We bought 10 masks and lost 10 and later found another 20 hidden in the house. We still hugged and kissed one another, but we stayed away from others in public spaces. We quickly taught our children to always wear their masks, to not touch anything and to stay close to us,” the mother added.

Keeping faith

Beyleveld encouraged other parents to remember that they are not alone. “Superman and Wonderwoman are lies. We all get confused, bloated and frustrated. Focus on your spiritual health, God-connection and affirm the good stuff every day. You are not anxious, you’re just excited, and continue to say this to yourself. Change is rarely great or timely, but God has plans for you.

“Keep your attitude of gratitude, even when you feel like a failure. Allow yourself to dream and grow. When your child is difficult, don’t push them away. It is then when you need to pull them close,” she said.

“Never try to compare your family to another, because each family is different with different needs. Together you as a family make a great team, so never lose hope. Concentrate on each person’s unique gifts and enjoy the simple, loving moments you share, because those memories will last forever,” Grimbeeck said.